In Sidamo, spoken in Ethiopia, there are some words used only by men and some used only by women, so that the translation of “milk” would be ado by a man, but gurda by a woman. Many Native American languages, such as Gros Ventre (in Montana) and Koasati (in Louisiana), are reported to have had different versions used by men and women. In Japanese, when referring to themselves (“I”), men have traditionally used boku and women watashi or atashi. In Portuguese, saying “thank you” is obrigado if you’re a man and obrigada if you’re a woman.

These examples simply illustrate that there can be differences between the words used by men and women in a variety of languages. There are other examples, used to talk about men and women, which seem to imply that the words for men are “normal” and the words for women are “special additions.” Pairs such as hero–heroine or actor– actress illustrate the derivation of terms for the woman’s role from the man’s. Marking this type of difference through gendered words has decreased in contemporary American English as firemen and policemen have become firefighters and police officers, but there is still a strong tendency to treat forms for the man (his) as the normal means of reference when speaking generally: Each student is required to buy his own dictionary. However, alternatives that include both genders (his or her), or avoid gendered usage (their) are becoming more common. Other terms, such as career woman and working mother (rarely “career man” or “working father”) continue the pattern of special terms for women, not men.

When we reviewed social variation, noting the differences between working-class and middle-class speech, we largely ignored gender differences. Yet, within each social class, there is substantial variation according to gender. Generally speaking, whenever there is a higher- versus lower-prestige variable (e.g. talking/ talkin’ or I saw it/I seen it), women are more likely to use the higher-prestige forms. The difference is most noticeable among middle-class speakers. In one study of double negatives (e.g. I don’t want none) in lower-middle-class speech, substantially more men (32%) than women (1%) used the structure. This regular pattern of difference is sometimes explained in terms of women’s socialization to be more careful, to be aware of social status, and to be more sensitive to how others may judge them. An alternative explanation appeals to the socialization of men to be strong, tough and independent. Forms which are non-standard or associated with working-class speech may be preferred by men because of their association with manual work, strength and toughness. And tough guys also have deep voices.