Dealing with Messiness of children Wisely

7:58:39

2026-07-25

Messiness is one of the main problems that families face in this day and age. Mothers are among those most affected, given that they bear the responsibility of managing the household, caring for the children, and trying to organize their daily lives in various ways. This problem begins to appear with the arrival of the family's first child and gradually becomes more difficult as the number of family members increases. No matter how hard parents try to organize the household, achieving complete success in this regard is almost impossible.

Children and teenagers often see messiness as a form of freedom. They prefer to live without rules and with a sense of independence within the home. They also try to ignore the instructions given by their parents, which they perceive as orders, and therefore feel annoyed when such instructions are directed at them.

Every child or teenager wants to be free in their movements and activities, away from the watchful eyes of worried parents.

For example, a mother rarely finds her teenage son's or daughter's room tidy, while the children may be busy listening to loud music or reading books containing exciting and engaging topics.

Messiness causes continuous arguments between mothers and their teenage sons and daughters, creating an atmosphere of tension within the home. When parents and children find themselves caught in such a conflict, the real question that arises is: Whose problem is this?

If, for example, a daughter cannot wear a particular piece of clothing because it is dirty, then this is her problem, and she should be responsible for solving it. In this way, the daughter can begin to understand that she has certain responsibilities that must be fulfilled if she wants to have a degree of independence in her life.

The mother also bears a significant part of the responsibility in this matter. As long as she cleans and organizes her teenage daughter's room every week, the daughter does not have to deal with the results or consequences of her own behavior and messiness.

Psychologists say that, for example, a mother and daughter can negotiate a middle-ground solution in which the mother recognizes her daughter's independence while, at the same time, achieving the mother's desire to put an end to her daughter's messiness.

Another problem involves children who, for example, refuse to use a toothbrush, which can have negative consequences for their teeth in the future.

Parents should understand that children do not plan such behavior in advance. They should also not expect children to understand that failing to brush their teeth will cause problems for them in the future. One possible solution is to give the child a small reward as an incentive for brushing their teeth.

It is difficult to allow our children to make their own decisions because they may sometimes make the wrong choices. However, those choices will not necessarily be wrong if the children learn valuable lessons from them.