Everybody is busy these days. Parents are working and children and teens are busy with dozens of activities. Keeping channels of communication open can be a challenge even when children are still young. The process becomes more complicated when they leave the house, but it does not lose its importance.
As your son moves towards more independence, you can find many ways to pass on your love, attention and encouragement to him, whether he is still living at home or has moved to live on his own. Here are some suggestions:
• Learn about new technologies. Learn to send phone texts, emails and other quick notes...
• Send a letter or card. Old-fashioned greeting cards are still great and can be hung on a board or tucked away in a drawer to come back to later.
• Make phone calls easy. Consider getting a cell phone to make communication easier. You can even give your kid a prepaid card to encourage him to call.
• My plans to visit. Your son may not have the time or money to come home often and will appreciate a visit from you. Use your sense of logic; Visiting can be more enjoyable when you realize that your son has special interests and commitments.
• Send a package that reflects your interest. If your son lives away from home, he will greatly appreciate a package containing treats, books, pictures or small keepsakes.
One of the paradoxes of raising a boy is that you may miss him more as he learns to love his freedom. It is tempting to call him or visit him often, but young men view excessive attention as an intrusion, and your relationship will not improve if you make your son feel guilty because he no longer needs you. Celebrate your son's ability to succeed on his own; Respect his need for privacy and independence. Remember to simply exercise courtesy and decency. Your son will welcome calls and visits more when you are sensitive and aware of his needs.
Staying connected with your son as he matures requires finding a certain balance. You have to give him room to spread his wings without forgetting to show him that you care about him. Your inner wisdom and knowledge of your son will help you know when to stay close to him and when to step back and let him experience the world for himself.
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