Should I get married and leave my mother?

3:37:12

2024-12-30

1519

I am a girl who now lives with my mother, who is old. I have not married yet; this is because my father advised me before his death to take good care of my brothers and sisters, and after his death - may Allah have mercy on him - I was responsible for them until they all got married, and during the period of my care for them, many suitors came to me, and I rejected them because I was busy with them, what do you advise me?

First: Do not hesitate to get married at all, so when a young man proposes to you, agree to him, but it is better to explain to him your situation, and your mother's need for you, so when he understands the situation and realizes the situation, this is the key to goodness and blessings for you and your mother. If he does not understand and accept the situation and asks you to correct and change it, then all you have to do is present the matter to your brothers and sisters.

Second: Whether a young man has proposed to you now or not, all you have to do is meet with your brothers and sit with them in a frank session and try to find the best ways that suit you and preserve the mother's status so that she does not feel any embarrassment or harm.

Third: You must remove from your minds and thoughts the idea of sending the mother or father to a nursing home; it is an idea that is completely rejected and should not be passed on to us as it is not part of our true religion, but rather it may indicate disobedience and coldness, and be a reason for depriving us of divine success.

Fourth: You (brothers and sisters) can divide your time in order to host the mother in the home of each of you for a period of time in a way that is balanced for everyone, so that it becomes a change for her from the monotony and routine of life and a change that gives her activity and vitality, and makes her feel that all family members are competing for her.

Fifth: If the mother is kept at home, he must hire a maid or a nurse to take care of her affairs, take care of her and talk to her. This requires that the nurse or maid be from the same country, or speak the same language so that it is easy to respond, understand and communicate with her.

Sixth: If it is possible for the children to take their mother to visit holy places such as Umrah, Hajj, or visitation and the like from time to time for a period of time accompanied by one of the children or someone they trust, this is a good thing that makes it easy for everyone.

Seventh: You must strive to have a group of her friends, neighbors and those she cares for visit your mother, whether they come by themselves or you make those invitations for them, all of this creates an atmosphere full of love and care for her.

Eighth: In the case of not getting married, because you preferred to remain in the service of your mother and not leave her alone, or in the case of your brothers rejecting everything you said to them. You should not regret that, nor feel sorry, for Allah Almighty will reward you for this deed, and will not waste it for you in this world or in the hereafter.